it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
