Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
