We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
