I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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