I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
