I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
