I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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