I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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