So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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