...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
