Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
