sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
