2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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