Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
