Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
