I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
