this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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