you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize