All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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