last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm really busy with my period
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