there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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