Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
