Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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