Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
