Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
