I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
