I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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