I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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