If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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