I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I deserve this hangover.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize