no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
