the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
