I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
