The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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