we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
