I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize