wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
