i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
