I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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