Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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