My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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