I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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