i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize