You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
