You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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