Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
