i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
