My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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