UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
