some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize