I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you traded sex for a burrito?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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