i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize