watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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