your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
