I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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