there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
