That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
