i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it glows. i had to have it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
