giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
